she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
