And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
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Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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