none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
