Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize