i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize