How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
