Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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