Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
