But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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