Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
two words...techno handjob
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
