my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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