dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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