All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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