...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
