just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
