im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
