Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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