I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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