im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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