My first STD was from a foam party
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i will never coherently bang her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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