Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
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I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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