kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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