i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
