I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
