How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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