Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize