apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
