Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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