I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
