a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
