So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
