bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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