is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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