Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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