But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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