Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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