The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
