Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
