I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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