Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
