Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
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Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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