I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize