How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
