just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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