Screwed.edu
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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