playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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