Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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