K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
