Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize