I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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