I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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