How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
