my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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