I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize