the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
