Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She's like a pop up book from hell.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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