I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Why is your signature on my underwear?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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