Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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